Monday, October 6, 2014

22 Things Every Kid Who Grew Up In An Evangelical Church Knows To Be True

http://www.buzzfeed.com/smackgowan/22-things-every-kid-who-grew-up-in-an-evangelical-g1b9

1. Your Bible cover expressed the level of coolness you had achieved.

Mine was embroidery, so probably not very cool

2. SWORD DRILL separated the winners from the losers!

I just remember my cousin visiting my Sunday school class in elementary school.  She was younger so they let us work together, and we creamed everyone.

3. You never got to watch The Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday nights because you had church.

Disney / Via giphy.com
More like I didn't get to see Lois and Clark, not that I wanted to see Dean Cain or anything.

4. You had a W.W.J.D. bracelet…or four!

The rainbow one.

5. The live singing songbook didn’t seem so creepy when you were younger.

Check out a video here of just how sketchy he looked.
I'm glad we are Methodist not Evangelical.

6. Trying not to laugh when a soloist got up and couldn’t sing.

Illumination Entertainment / Via giphy.com
I'm an adult.  I won't list names.

7. You can tell someone about your faith using jelly beans or beaded bracelets.

I have a bracelet but I don't remember what all the colors are.

8. Receiving this was the Christian version of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah!

We got Bibles in 3rd grade, and I got a teen Bible at a youth workers convention.

9. “Don’t run in church” became the unofficial 11th commandment.

Universal Pictures / Via giphy.com
No, it was "don't put your feet on the pew in front of you!"

10. Your youth pastor had a goatee.

No, and Nancy would have looked bad with one.

11. You had a Precious Moments Bible.

I think I did.

12. Life was beautiful when you got to watch Superbook, McGee and Me or VeggieTales in Sunday School!

Big Idea Entertainment / Via graybles.tumblr.com
I was in college then and after.  It was more the lazy answer to youth group.

13. There was a copy of “Footprints” in every home you visited.

I cross-stitched 3 for friends graduation.  I now hate the poem.

14. Everyone saying church sandwiches were the worst but you secretly looked forward to them every time.

Paramount Films / Via wifflegif.com
Sandwiches?  The Kool-Aid was gross though

15. Flannelgraph’s biggest market was Sunday School classrooms.

Our last minister always laughed that I mentioned flannelgraphs.  True test of kids who grew up in the church.

16. Having to leave the service to go to the washroom.

NBC / Via media.giphy.com
Um, not going to the bathroom for an entire hour is entirely possible.

17. You dreamt of playing a big part in the Christmas play instead of the fifteenth sheep.

Maybe more about getting a solo and having talent.

18. Audio Adrenaline, Newsboys, Jars of Clay and DC Talk were THE bands to listen to.

Replace Jars of Clay with Tobymac, and you're telling me this isn't still true?

19. Trying to get to the restaurant before other churches did.

Legendary Pictures / Via thatsootrue.tumblr.com
This is not a joke.

20. Campfires weren’t for roasting marshmallows, they were for singing.

Yes, and they were completely great!

21. That terrifying moment you’re falling asleep during the sermon and the pastor all of a sudden yells.

Disney / Via gifwave.com
We're Methodist - we don't yell

22. Following these three on a journey and never figuring out if David and Margot had a crush on each other.

Following these three on a journey and never figuring out if David and Margot had a crush on each other.
Who

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